The invitation to this year’s RNA (Royal National Agricultural and Industrial Association) Fundraiser said “Elegant Attire”. So I put on some plain blue trousers, a fuchsia jacket and a pearl necklace with my favourite buddha and some milky blue stones, stud pearl earrings and flat leather shoes.My hair is a mess but it is windy Ekka weather. I was dropped off and I walked in with another lady who was wearing a green and gold dress with very big dangling gold earrings and some high heels. I got there faster. When she came in looking as lost as I was, I directed her to the champagne and she said thank you – “You look great and you are wearing flats ! “

My first invite was 13 years ago. I owe this to my dear friend Adam Budd, Associate Professor of History at Edinburgh University. I first met him reciting Shakespeare to Indian girls on the top floor of  a Salaam Baalak Children’s Home where I too was volunteering. We became good buddies, no pun intended, and after many fundraisers for the girls I broke the news that we were leaving India and heading to Brisbane, Australia where I did not know a soul.

He immediately sent out an email to a friend’s friend and when I arrived in Brisbane I was welcomed over a coffee by Margi Adnan. Margi introduced me to the RNA and to the Ekka Brisbane’s Agricultural show held in August of each year. I volunteered there for many years. Margi invited me to the RNA thirteen years ago and I am still on the invite list and she is very much still involved.

This Fundraiser was started some years ago by Jane Thomas supporting rural communities in QLD especially children and remote learning. It has raised over $300,000. This year it was Longreach School of Distance Education, raising money for more musical instruments.

Today I walked into a sea of fashion, off the shoulder, bohemian, organza, over the top and out of the cupboard of yesteryear. The room was buzzing and rightly so. There are so many more ladies eager to be part of this illustrious High Tea.

I stepped into this seething room of female fabulousness. There is undoubtedly money in Queensland. I looked around the room and drank my champagne and marvelled at the fashions, overhead the conversations, families doing well, cancer raising its ugly head, children being born and the tribulations of elderly care. I walk no further in to this vast hall even after 13 years. I spot a few women across the room who I could talk to but this year I choose to sit back and be an observer. I no longer feel the need. I have been welcomed but I will never be an insider and that is fine.

The show starts and the Governor says a few words. The children from the Longreach school of distance learning have made a song and dance for us which is projected on to a big screen. The kids are joyful, lively, cheekily talented and that’s my real ticket in.

It’s been that way across my married life and the countries I have lived in.